Everyone would like to know how the mother feels soon after she delivers her baby. Some mothers feel happy, some feel sad, some feel anxious and excited. And to some mothers, delivery can create a havoc to their emotions. This blog is a continuation of my previous blog on baby blues. So I had invited mommies who faced similar issues to come forward and share their experiences on baby blues and how they overcame this situation. These mothers including myself have wept at one point, lost temper and became irritable during certain circumstances, but those are just my emotions taking a roller coaster ride. All of us knew that we will evolve as a great mother in the years to come.
Why did I call out guest bloggers on this topic? It is very simple because it is easy for anyone to jot down few tips and tricks to confront this situation. But it really adds sense and value when you read real-life stories. Hence, I decided to get help from fellow moms.
So here is one such mother who is opening up and sharing her thoughts.
Swathi Prem is one of my friend who I knew from Houston. She is a dentist by profession. Swathi is a very friendly and happy-go-lucky girl. She loves travelling and cooking.
When did you have your baby and how old is your little one?
My lil angel Ziva was born on 4th of October 2017. My piece of heaven is 5 months old now.
Did you have a healthy pregnancy?
Yes I did. I was totally in love with my big pregnant tummy, the flutters, the kicks,no morning sickness. The whole pregnancy was a sweet experience.
Did you have a normal delivery or a C-section?
I had a normal delivery. Maybe because I was soo in love being pregnant, she was born a week later than my due.
When did you first feel that your emotions were taking a strong leap?
The moment I saw her face and when we did skin to skin, I was on cloud nine. Later, when the sedation of epidural subsided…slowly things started to change. I realized that I had a third degree tear and I was finding it difficult to move around. It was difficult for me to even get up and answer her needs. My mother instincts wouldn’t overpower the pain, and then I knew I had changed.
When did your baby blues or postpartum depression kick in?
May be in a weeks time.
What did it feel like?
It was difficult for Ziva to latch on while feeding. I was not able to breastfeed her for the first few weeks.Also one fine evening Ziva started crying for no reasons that lasted few hours. It took me some time to realize that she was colicky. All these put me in guilt. The next few weeks were bad. I initially thought that it was my fault and am the reason for all her cries. I wanted to be the best mom in the world, but I was afraid if I would fail in being so.
How did you overcome?
It took some time for things to fall at the right place. I decided to talk to my doc about what I felt, he advised me some latching techniques and that worked. He told me that it is normal for babies with colic to cry for hours and told me ways to ease her colic as well as her acid re-flux. My husband was a strong support for me.We took turns to take care of her at night. I scheduled a chart for her naps with the help of the book “baby wise” and her feeds to which she adapted really fast. All of this made my life easier.
What do you think is the best technique to adopt when you feel low or sad?
I think the best method is to discuss with someone about how you feel. Let it be your husband, neighbor or a friend you are comfortable with. Never feel bad to ask for help when you are in need. Take sometime off and go for a short walk. Make sure we spend at least 30 mins for ourselves before we go to bed.
How did you handle the situation when you had mood swings?
I did multiple things. I was open to my husband on how I felt. We would end up eating some good food, watching a movie when she goes to bed or even talk about something totally unrelated to Ziva that would distract me. All this helped me elevate my senses and bring me back to the normal me.
How long did your baby blues last?
Couple of months. Now I understand there is no guide to become a perfect mom, you just become one of those.
A big thank you to Swathi for putting forth her candid thoughts so freely. One major take away from her story is about the nighttime routine which she brought in her baby with the help of the “baby wise” book in such an early stage. She said that even though it was tough to put this routine in the baby, it has helped her a lot. Also, another big thing is being vocal about this situation with the person whom you trust. As mentioned by Swathi, it can be your friend, your husband or even a neighbor. Do not subside your thoughts and keep it with you.
This is not the end, more thoughts and stories will continue.