Motherhood is a choice you make everyday,
to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own.
Deciding to become a stay at home mother is quite tough. I did not decide , I had already quit job 2 years ago. So, hats off to all those moms around the world who made it a point to be a stay at home throughout her life.
Before having Avnita, I kept myself busy by doing volunteering works in the city. So, staying at home and keeping myself busy wasn’t an issue. I had my blog to look after too. I keep saying this in all my “motherhood” blogs that baby does comes with added responsibilities. Avnita had her share of tantrums too which was difficult to manage at first. I had a jolly time when my parents were here initially for the first 5 months. The so called “phases” started when they left and I was all on my own. Myself and hubby pulled it through. We are still mastering the skills of parenting.
Being a stay at home mother (SAHM), I have my share of perks too. I am the one who first witnesses all the baby milestones and I get to be satisfied by seeing my baby grow up.But Staying at home and looking after the kid isn’t easy at all. How much ever difficult it is for a working mom to balance both office and kid, it is equally tough for a stay at home mom to just sit and do baby chores. It is exhausting sometimes. A stay at home (SAHM) is always on her toes. She has no sick leave. She is busy all the time. The kids are the boss of your day. They will run your day and time in a grueling way.
I know, I know…this is a vast topic. At some point in life, every mother opt to stay at home to look after her kid. No one can leave the kid soon after delivery right? A working mom gets maternity leave. Some moms stay with their baby may be for 2 months, 6 months and some … throughout her life. Trust me, each and every one of these moms will agree to me if I say that the duration she was at home looking after her baby be her most challenging, hardest and rewarding career in life. Staying sane is important and doing things you love should be your priority. I am not an expert in giving advises but I can at least share few of my experiences in the form of tips. What say?
- Do what you love the most. I love to create content for my instagram profile and love to spend some time in having the food I like the most. May be some shopping too. I am still on my path to find a thing that makes me feel happy and relaxed. Something like reading a book or doing crafts. You might be a person who would love to take a walk in the park, do something outdoorsy or listen to music. These are stuffs which you can even do with your baby. I sometimes opt to listen to music while nursing Avi. This has helped me sometimes to take my mind off for a while.
- Share your feeling with your partner. Very very important. They are the ones who can relate to you utmost. Never suppress your feelings and hide it. The more you share, the more happier you will be. Ofcourse, the more satisfied and pumped you will be to look after your baby the next day. I have felt it many times. I have these major meltdowns some days when I share my feelings with my husband. And that’s all! Trust me, I will be a new person the next day and be charged up to do more things. So sharing is wealth.
- Stop thinking about the past. Grass is always always always greener on the other side. And when you think of the past, you look at it in a more glorified form. I am still working on this one. I often keep thinking about the days before the birth of Avi. We were free. But see, there is no point in thinking about it right? The choice of having a baby is much more beautiful because your life now has some meaning. You are living to make a tiny human’s life more and more meaningful. There is a purpose. And for a SAHM, this is the priority task. You stay at home and look after the baby all the time. You shape her future in the right way. Just focus on the present and future. You will stay sane.
- Tune out the negatives from life. There could be hundreds of eyes judging and commenting you. I am a mom blogger. I have heard comments saying why would I waste my time blogging instead take time and look after Avi. These are some dull witted comments which I totally want to avoid hearing . Cummon, I do it to just keep my mom brain active. Hence, try to create a positive aura around you.
- Look out for social events which will have more activities for moms and kids. Libraries are my new best friend. I never thought I’d say that. Storytime = one hour of your day that you don’t have to do anything except take videos and pictures of your kid singing “The Wheels on the Bus ” and “Old Mc Donalds”. I take Avi to the nearby library for story time. Well, is it too early for this? If you ask me, my answer would be a big “NO”. This is a chance to socialise, explore and have fun. Earlier it is, the better it is. Your kids will start having awareness about the surroundings, they start to learn the art of sharing etc. And for you? The more you engage with other moms, the more knowledge you gain. I have couple of library friends whom I meet during these story time sessions. We pass wisdom and our kids have a good time too.
- Rest when the child rests. If you can afford to, please do it. Sleep is super important to moms cos we really need the energy to look after the kid when she is up. Grumpiness and sleep is inversely proportional. The more you sleep , the less grumpy will you be. A long shower, a good coffee, a restful nap, this may unwind your mind.
- Try to have a support network. This could be your family, friends or some random mom group you would have chosen to join. If you check out my facebook page, I have “n” number of groups where I have joined to clear all my doubts regarding the growth of my baby. Most importanly, they make you feel less lonely.
- Make each and every moment you spend with your kid be special. Being a SAHM is a special thing, eventually you will go back to work or your kids will grow up fast. So, I would say make every moment a tad bit special. Get on the floor and play with them forgetting totally about cooking, cleaning and chores. Try it at least. I know it could be hard, but try it.
- Plan your day? huh! this is something I am trying since my parents left. I wanted to cook three course meal with a 5 month old baby. Too much of an expectation right? That too without a pinch of planning. So folks, planning will go a long way. I have heard mommies plan their meal for the next day , the night before so that they can relax and play with their kid the very next day. This is easy if you have a baby who takes long naps at night. So, may be you can try it out. I tried for few days, it was a success.
- Look out for help. If it is getting too much, look out for some helping hands. May be a nanny, a daycare where you can leave your kid for couple of hours. Never hesitate.
Mommies, just like babies have a “phase’, this is also just a small period where you have to give your 100% on your baby. I won’t bore you with the “enjoy this moment” crap you probably hear all the time, just remember that what seems so darn hard now will be over in an instant. Few years down the lane, in the the blink of an eye, you will be able to go back to work in some condition and you will probably sob over how great your years at home were with little kids who needed you so badly.
Hope for the best!